i am loving n powerful n cool and i will get my shit together one day at a time
I was in love with you. when am I gonna get over you? why is it taking so long. I cannot let you go for the life of me. And its crazy because there was so much that wasn’t done that should have been done, and so much that wasn’t accomplished and I just don’t get what Im even holding onto anymore. I don’t know if its still the idea of you being around or the fantasy I had in my head of how I wanted things to be.. Im holding onto something though and I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I just want you to come around one day and just completely be honest with me and just tell me everything. I guess I want closure. I wanna stop picking up the phone and dialing your stupid number and hoping you answer and wanna speak to me. I wanna stop hoping for you. All I can think about is how much I wanted it to be you, how badly I needed it to be you. And how much you really didn’t feel the same way. When I think about 5 years from now, I still see you. I still see me being upset and heartbroken and sad over you.. I see me wanting to see you and I still see you with her, which is crazy. 5 years from now I don’t wanna be that way. I don’t wanna think about you, I don’t wanna see you, I don’t wanna hear about you. I want you gone. You and her together 5 years from now will not phase me! Thats what I want. I want you to never look back and never think twice about checking up on me, because 5 years from now I want to be okay and away from you.